You see this cute woman on the subway. For a quick moment woman you’re exited. But as soon as the excitement came it leaves again. Oh no you think to yourself. Because YOU KNOW what is coming. Yes, my friend it’s called anxiety. Fear. Terror. No, I cannot talk to her. It’s not appropriate. Don’t act too interested. I hope she doesn’t see my neediness. How BAD and FUCKED UP I am deep inside. Hello darkness my old friend. It sucks, doesn’t it? And even worse you know it comes again and again and you don’t know how to get out of it. Every time the same reaction. You bail. And afterwards you hate yourself a little more. Don’tyouworrymy friend. Youcametotherightplace and I’vethesolution. How do youapproachwomen? How do youapproachthemwithoutlooking like a creep? Whatyousay? All this and more will becovered in thisblogpost. Step 1: Acceptyourfeelings You are not inherently bad just because you feel afraid of talking to women. This is quite normal. Especially if the location you want to start a conversation in is usually not seen as a location where people do these sorts of things. Fear is just a natural response and telling you that there’s a danger associated with your behavior. This can be a good thing and keeps you from behaving inappropriately which will result in social exclusion which isn’t very good for you. However, in this scenario it’s not really helping you. Also accept that you will feel nervous. Some Pickup dudes will tell you ”just be cool man”. This won’t help you if you’re already shaking out of nervousness. With the first woman I approached I was literally so nervous that I could barely talk. The girl ended up texting me back anyhow. Women don’t want a man who is free of fear or insecurities because they’re full of it themselves. Be honest about it to yourself and her. This will lay a foundation for connection. And ironically this nervousness will stop being a big deal for you this way too. Also, it will fade with time. Step 2: Don’thideyourintentions It’sstartswiththefirsteyecontact. Ifyou’reinterested in her just look at her. Most insecureguystrytocoveruptheirinterestbylookingaway. Don’t. Especiallyifshe’slooking at you DO NOT break eyecontact. Ifshelooks at youslightlylongerthantheaveragepersonthat’s a goodsign and youcanapproach her. That’swhyyoushouldgenerallyspeakingalwayslookpeople in theeyesto not miss out on thesehints. Step 3: Approach For Startes: If you are very scared of the approach don’t be too hard on yourself. Start small and just ask for the time. The next time you can ask them about their day for example. Make it more intense each time you talk to them. Do not approach them from behind or a dead angle. As soon as you do that you will scare them and then it’s over.
When you start talking to them don’t come up with a fancy Pickup line. If you have one in mind that you think is funny go for it. But generally, a simple ”Hello my name is…” should be enough. You’re not there to entertain them. Be honest with them. Tell them why you’re talking to them. DON’T cover up your intentions. Be aware of social settings. If you approach them in the subway, make sure to communicate to them that you know what you’re doing is abnormal. Normally they do not get approached in the subway for example. If you do not communicate that they will think you’re socially retarded aka unattractive.
Step 4: Close How you want to close is up to you. Usually, you do not know much about the person at that point so maybe you can say something like the following: ”Hey I know we are random strangers but how about we give this a chance and grab coffee this weekend. If we don’t like it, we just leave it afterwards”. Ask for her number and say goodbye. Congrats. Also make sure to look in the right places. Yes night clubs are a great location to pick up women but they’re not for everybody. If you hate bi groups of people and are not a social person you won’t have any fun there and no things in common with the people there. Humans are attracted to shared interests and values. Figure out what that means for you and look in these places.